Sometimes Goodbye Is A Second Chance
by Remi Keagan
Summary: Will Kathryn and Chakotay get a second chance after they say goodbye.
1. Chapter 1

**Sometimes Goodbye is A Second Chance**

**By Remi**

_Disclaimer:_ _Star Trek: Voyager™©_ and related properties are Registered Trademarks of CBS Studios. No copyright infringement intended.

**San Francisco, California five months after Voyager returned.**

"Hey Chakotay, wait up!" Tom shouted from across the Academy grounds. Tom jogged across the immaculate lawn stopping next to where Chakotay was waiting for him. "You're just the man I wanted to talk too."

"Let me guess you can't have the poker game at your place, right?"

Tom tried not to look embarrassed. "As a matter of fact that's why I wanted to talk to you."

Chakotay gave Tom a stern look, "So what did you do this time?"

Tom shook his head. "No it's not like that Chakotay. B'Elanna and I got our dates mixed up that's all, and I was hoping we could move the poker game to your place that way B'Elanna won't have to change her plans."

Chakotay shook his head and smiled. "Not a problem Tom. I understand. How is Miral by the way?"

"She's fine, she started teething and it's making her very cranky."

Chakotay chuckled, "That can't be fun."

"It has its moments," A warm look came over Tom's face. "Miral is the second best thing that happened in my life."

"I couldn't agree more Tom." Chakotay patted him on the back. "Come on, I was just heading home from boxing practice why don't you come with me and we can have a beer while you help me contact everyone about the change in location and set things up for the game?"

"So I take it Seven won't mind about the sudden change in plans for tonight?"

Chakotay shifted his gym bag to his other hand as the two of them started walking. "Tom she goes by Annika now remember, and no she won't be home she's working late tonight."

"So things are going well for her at Jupiter Station?"

"Yes, the research program has been keeping her very busy lately."

It didn't take them long to reach Chakotay's apartment. He keyed in his entry code, opened the door, and placed his bag on the floor by the door. "Make yourself at home while I get some beers." Tom walked over and sat on the couch. A moment later Chakotay was back with a bottle of beer in each hand and handed one to Tom. "I need to take a quick shower and then we can get a hold of the guys."

"I'll order the pizza while you're gone." Tom leaned back on the couch and took a drink of this beer. He suddenly heard a female scream from the bedroom and almost spit his beer out in shock. He quickly stood up and started walking towards the hallway when Chakotay came walking into the room, Tom saw that his face was beat red with anger. "Chakotay?" Before Chakotay could answer Seven came running into the room with only a sheet wrapped around her. She came to an abrupt stop when she saw Tom. Tom noticed that her hair was tousled and her cheeks were flushed. Tom closed his eyes and groaned. _'Oh this is not good',_ he thought. Tom looked at Chakotay. "I'll show myself out."

Chakotay didn't speak he just nodded his head at Tom.

* * * * * *

B'Elanna's face broke into a wide smile when Tom entered the kitchen; it faded slightly when she saw Chakotay walk in behind him. "Hi." She greeted to them. Tom walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. She noticed the look on Chakotay's face and that he didn't speak which had her worried. "What's wrong?"

Tom took a hold of her arms, "Chakotay will be staying with us for a few days."

B'Elanna had a bad feeling about this. "What happened?"

Tom's eyes flicked towards Chakotay and then back to B'Elanna's, he went to open his mouth but Chakotay spoke out instead.

"I found Annika in bed with Axum."

B'Elanna's eyes went wide. "What!" She walked over to Chakotay and gave him a big hug. "I am sorry she hurt you like that. Do you want me to break her legs?"

Chakotay gave a small chuckle, "No, but thank you for the offer."

Just then Miral started crying from the other room.

"I'll get her." Tom stated and left the room.

Tom entered the nursery and picked Miral up and soothed her until she stopped crying. He took her over the changing table and started changing her nappy when B'Elanna came into the room.

"I knew it, I just knew she was going to hurt him."

"B'Elanna calm down getting upset isn't going to help anything."

B'Elanna let out a harrumph. "Seven has always been so arrogant. I tried to point that out to him, but would he listen? No-"

"B'ELANNA!" Tom said in a harsh whisper, "That's enough."

"Sorry, I let my temper get the best of me for a moment."

Tom picked Miral up off the changing table and walked over and kissed B'Elanna on the forehead. "It's understandable. Chakotay is family, and you're very protective of your family."

B'Elanna took Miral from Tom. "You're damn right." Her manner turned serious. "Tom you have to get Chakotay out of the house before she gets here."

Tom ran his hand through his hair. "I know, I know. I need a minute to think of something."

B'Elanna shifted Miral to her other shoulder. "You don't have a minute, Kathryn's due any second now. Tell him you have to check out a shuttle or something."

"I have a better idea." Tom replied.

Chakotay was sitting on the couch after contacting everyone to cancel poker night when Tom and B'Elanna came into the room. "Tom grab your coat." Chakotay told him.

"Where are we going?" Tom inquired.

"I don't want to ruin B'Elanna's plans for tonight so you and I are going out to have a few beers and play some pool." Chakotay answered.

Tom walked over and picked up his coat. "Good idea, Chakotay."

Chakotay walked over and kissed Miral on the top of the head and then squeezed B'Elanna's shoulder. "Enjoy your dinner."

"Chakotay-" B'Elanna started to protest.

Chakotay stopped her. "No B'Elanna, there's no sense in your plans being interrupted on my account."

B'Elanna felt horrible. She wanted Chakotay to stay but she knew that if he did he'd run into Kathryn and she didn't want to cause Kathryn the pain of seeing him just when she had moved past her feelings for Chakotay. "Just make sure you don't wake Miral when you come home, or else your staying up with her until she goes back to sleep."

Tom kissed his wife and child and then walked to the door opened it and skidded to a halt. "Kathryn!"

Kathryn sifted the wine into her other hand. As she reached up to knock on the door when it swung open startling her. "Hi Tom."

Tom stood frozen the doorway caught in the proverbial rock and a hard place and he didn't know what to do.

"Are you doing to stand there all night Tom, or are you going to invite me in?" Kathryn retorted.

Tom suddenly jumped into motion. "Come on in." He opened the door and motioned her in.

As Kathryn walked past Tom she came to a sudden stop as she turned her head and saw Chakotay standing in the hallway. "Hello Chakotay."

Chakotay nodded his head, "Kathryn," he quietly replied. She noticed right away that he was a bit uncomfortable, but before she could say anything more Tom came up behind her.

"Sorry to rush out so quickly Kathryn, but Chakotay and I were just leaving."

"I understand Tom," she held up a hand in front of her, "far be it for me to keep you two from your weekly poker game."

Tom chuckled, "B'Elanna's in the kitchen. You two have a nice dinner and don't spoil Miral too much."

Kathryn put her hand on her chest and feigned innocence. "Me, spoil my goddaughter? I have no idea what you are talking about Tom."

Tom laughed and kissed Kathryn on the cheek, grabbed Chakotay by the arm and left quickly out the door. Kathryn stood looking at the closed door for a few seconds wondering what the hell just happened. She knew things between her and Chakotay had been slightly strained since their return to Earth, but he had acted almost embarrassed to see her just now. She turned and headed for the kitchen making a mental note to ask B'Elanna about it.

When Kathryn entered the kitchen she found B'Elanna finishing the prep work on dinner. "Hi." She said sitting the bottle of wine on the counter.

"Kathryn! When did you get here?"

"Tom let me in when he as Chakotay were leaving."

"That explains why I didn't hear the door." She walked over and hugged Kathryn. "You look well. A month in Italy certainly agrees with you."

"Isle of Capri is absolutely gorgeous B'Elanna. It's so picturesque and the water is the most clear vibrant blue I've ever seen, and the weather was beautiful the entire time."

B'Elanna smiled at her. "Well the sunshine and sea air has to be wonderful because your skin is glowing."

Kathryn laughed. "That would be courtesy of the Spa were I spent the last week of my stay."

"You didn't say anything about that when you called me."

Kathryn smiled, "It was a last minute decision. I figured it might be a while before I have the chance to pamper myself once I start teaching at Star Fleet Command School in New York."

B'Elanna's eyes went wide, "Your turning down the promotion and position at Headquarters?"

"I turned down the position at Starfleet Command, but the position at Command School still comes with the promotion."

"That's wonderful, congratulations."

After dinner B'Elanna and Kathryn were enjoying their coffee in the living room while watching Miral play on a blanket at their feet. Kathryn watched as Miral chewed on the block she was holding. "My goodness Lanna I can't get over how much Miral has grown in a month."

B'Elanna sighed, "I know I can't believe it myself."

Just then the block Miral was chewing on flew out of her hands and she started to cry. Kathryn being the closest to her reached down and picked Miral up placing her on her lap, wrapping her arms around Miral in a hug to sooth the whimpering infant. Miral reached out and grabbed Kathryn's fingers and promptly chomped down on her knuckle. With out missing a beat Kathryn started rubbing her knuckle across Miral's swollen gums making the infant dribble in glee. B'Elanna watched as Kathryn expertly handled the teething girl. B'Elanna was always amazed at how natural Kathryn looked with a child in her arms. "Do you plan on having children?" B'Elanna was so caught up in watching Kathryn she didn't realize she had asked that out loud until she heard Kathryn speak.

Kathryn was caught off guard by the sudden question. "What?"

B'Elanna's eyes went wide with embarrassment. "I'm sorry I shouldn't-"

"No, no it's alright Lanna. To answer your question, yes I have always wanted children but I'm afraid that at this point in my life having children is out of the question."

B'Elanna raised her eyebrow. "You are not too old to have children Kathryn."

Not wanting to discuss the age of her reproductive system Kathryn changed tactics. "I don't even have a man in my life, B'Elanna."

"What about Marcello?" B'Elanna inquired.

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "That was over before it started Lanna." She had met Marcello the first week she was in Capri.

"From what you told me when we spoke you were really enjoying spending time with him."

"I was, but it turned out that we were both headed in different directions in our lives."

B'Elanna leaned back and took a drink of her coffee. "Too bad, he certainly was easy on the eyes."

Kathryn laughed. "I knew I shouldn't have sent you that picture of us on the boat."

"Are you kidding? Do you know how much I enjoyed seeing that man in his bathing suit?"

"Lanna!"

"Hey I'm married, not dead." She said in a fit of laughter.

* * * * * *

Later that week on Friday B'Elanna called Kathryn and asked her to baby sit Miral when their sitter canceled at the last minute on them. When Kathryn arrived at their apartment Tom was holding a screaming Miral and looking frazzled.

"Kathryn we tried to call you but you'd already left. As you can see Miral is having a bad bought of teething so we've decided to cancel our dinner plans and stay home with her."

Kathryn gave Tom a stern look. "You'll do no such thing. Now give me Miral and go finish getting ready."

"Kathryn-" he started to protest.

"Tom I've stood toe to toe with the Vidiian's, Hirogen, and the Borg. I think I can handle a teething baby for a few hours." She quipped.

Tom knew when he was beat and handed a screaming Miral over to Kathryn. She cradled Miral to her chest and headed for the kitchen. Once in the kitchen she went over to the cooling unit and took out a bag of frozen peas and hand them to Miral, who instantly started gumming them. A few moments later B'Elanna came into the kitchen and saw Kathryn standing at the window near the table with her back to her.

"How did you get Miral to stop crying?" When Kathryn turned around B'Elanna noticed the girl frantically gumming the bag of frozen peas. B'Elanna stared at the pair in amazement. "Now why didn't I think of that?"

Kathryn kissed the top of Miral's head. "Because you're a slightly stressed mother of a teething infant who needs a night out away from her baby."

B'Elanna smiled at Kathryn. "Your right, and thanks again for babysitting at the last minute like this."

"Don't mention it Lanna, you know I love spending time with my goddaughter." Kathryn smiled.

Just then Tom walked took one look at his daughter gumming a bag of peas and shook his head. "I should have known that your unconventional thinking wasn't just limited to commanding starships Captain."

"And you know that Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Tom."

Tom walked over and kissed his daughter's head and then pointed his finger at Kathryn. "Okay young lady you know the rules, the beer in the fridge is off limits and no boy's in the house while we are gone."

B'Elanna grabbed Tom by the arm. "Come on Tom let's go before I let her kick your butt." She started to pull Tom out of the room, "Thanks again Kathryn, we won't be home too late."

Kathryn walked them to the door. "Lanna we'll be just fine so take your time and enjoy yourselves and don't worry about rushing home, okay?"

B'Elanna looked at Miral who was still happily gumming the bag of peas in Kathryn's arms. "Alright, we'll be home when we get home."

A few hours later after getting Miral to sleep for the night Kathryn was sitting on the sofa reading a book when she heard the front door open. At the sound of approaching foot steps she closed her book and looked up expecting to see Tom and B'Elanna, but was shocked to see Chakotay walk into the room. "Chakotay!" she said with a stunned look on her face.

"Hello Kathryn. You look surprised to see me?"

"I am. What are you doing here?"

Chakotay reached up and tugged on his earlobe. "I'm staying here."

Kathryn's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. "Oh, I didn't know."

"I'm surprised B'Elanna didn't tell you." Chakotay sat down next to her on the sofa and leaned his head against the back of the sofa closing his eyes.

Kathryn studied him for a moment. She could see how tired he looked. "Why are you staying here Chakotay?"

Chakotay opened his eyes and sat up. "Annika and I aren't seeing each other any more."

Kathryn wasn't sure if she was happy or sad about this, but no matter what her feeling for Chakotay were or weren't at the moment they were still friends. After all he was there for her when she got the 'Dear John' letter from Mark, so if anything she owed it to him to be supportive now. Besides she couldn't abandon him if she wanted to, his friendship meant too much to her. "What happened?"

"Annika decided to continue her relationship with Axum."

"Axum? I thought he was in a remote sector of the Beta quadrant?"

"Not any more. He's here on Earth and living with Annika."

"So I take it she broke off your relationship?"

Chakotay tugged on his earlobe again. "Actually, I did."

Kathryn gave him a quizzical look. "Let me get this straight, Annika decided to resume her relationship with Axum, but you broke it off with her. I think I'm missing something here."

"I came home and caught them in bed together. Tom was with me so he invited me to stay with him and B'Elanna until I find a place."

Kathryn placed her hand on this shoulder, "Oh Chakotay I'm so sorry." Kathryn tried to wrap her mind around everything Chakotay had just told her. She knew Seven had deep feelings for Axum, but what she couldn't believe was how badly Seven had handled the situation and hurting Chakotay in the process. When she got the chance she was going to give Seven a piece of her mind. Not wanting to let her temper get the better of her Kathryn stood up. "I'm going to check on Miral, I'll be right back."

"I'm going to make some tea, would you like some?" Chakotay asked.

Kathryn nodded her head at him before she left the room.

A few minutes later Kathryn entered the kitchen as Chakotay was pouring tea into two mugs. "Chakotay where do you sleep?"

Chakotay handed Kathryn her tea. "On the sofa, why?"

"It's a small apartment the three of you must be tripping over each other."

"I know. I tried to go to a hotel, but B'Elanna won't here of it."

Kathryn took a sip of her tea. "You are welcome to stay with me." Chakotay started to shake his head, but Kathryn held up her hand. "It's just mom and me in that big house, and she'll love having another person to cook for."

"I don't know, Kathryn." He stated unsure.

"Please just think about it, okay?" She added.

He smiled at her. "I will."

Just then Tom came into the kitchen. "Kathryn I'm disappointed. I thought we agreed no boys?"

"There weren't any boys here until you came in, Tom." She fired back causing everyone to start laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bloomington, Indiana**

Kathryn walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of black coffee. The first cup of morning coffee was a ritual for her, an almost religious experience, and this morning was no different than any other. She took the steaming cup and inhaled its rich aroma deeply before talking a drink. "That's more like it," she said to the empty kitchen.

"Talking to yourself again, Katie?" Gretchen said as she entered the kitchen.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Kathryn deadpanned, as she headed upstairs with her coffee for a quick shower. Just as she reached the foot of the stairs when the front door rang.

"Katie see who is at the door?" her mother called to her.

Kathryn looked down at herself. She was in her nightgown, her robe hung open and her feet were bare. The front door rang again.

"Katie the door! Her mother insistently yelled.

Not bothering to tie her robe Kathryn hurried to the front door and opened it. "Chakotay!"

"Good morning Kathryn," taking in her appearance he swallowed hard. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

She softly laughed, "No, please come in." She opened the door stepping back to let him in. When he didn't move Kathryn gave him a questioning look, "Chakotay?"

Chakotay reached up and tugged on his ear lobe. "I gave quite a bit of thought to what you said last night, and I wondered if that offer to stay with you is still open?"

Kathryn gave him a warm smile, "Of course it is. Now come in."

Chakotay walked into the foyer, and Kathryn closed the door behind him as he gazed around the house.

"Would you like some coffee?" she asked leading him into the kitchen.

"That would be nice, thank you."

When they entered the kitchen Gretchen was standing at the stove. "Who was at the door, dear?"

"Mom, you remember Chakotay?"

Gretchen turned around, "Of course I do," she wiped her hands on her apron. "It's good so see you again Chakotay. What brings you here so early this morning?"

"Mom, Chakotay needs a place to stay for a while so I invited him here."

Realizing that Kathryn hadn't discussed this with her mother, Chakotay gave Kathryn a stern look. "Really Mrs. Janeway if this-"

"Nonsense Chakotay we have plenty of room." Gretchen turned to Kathryn. "Katie take Chakotay up to Phoebe's old room and help him get settled while I finish breakfast."

"This way Chakotay." Kathryn stated.

They walked down the upstairs hallway to the first door on the right, Kathryn opened the door and walked in. "This is it." The room was modestly decorated with a queen size bed, dresser and chair. Kathryn walked over to the closet and opened it. "You can hang your clothes in here." She then walked over the open bathroom door. "The bathroom is in here. It's not private; you share it with my room next door so make sure you secure the door."

"It's called knocking Kathryn." He teased.

Kathryn made a face at him. "Ha, ha. If you'll excuse me I'm going to shower and change for breakfast." She closed the bathroom door.

Chakotay laughed to himself when he heard the lock click.

Later that afternoon Kathryn was showing Chakotay around the grounds, they were in the barn where one half had been turned into an art studio for Phoebe. They were standing in the small area where Kathryn worked on her painting. Chakotay picked up a watercolor Kathryn had sitting on an easel admiring it.

"The lass does good work, doesn't she?" Came a deep voice from behind them.

Chakotay turned around and saw a tall, brown hair, green eyed man leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed at his chest.

"Hi Murphy!" Kathryn said, walking over and giving him a hug.

"Hi Katie," Murphy said returning the hug. "I see you finished your painting."

Kathryn nodded. "Murphy I'd like you to meet Chakotay. He was my First Officer on Voyager. Chakotay this is Liam Murphy, he owns the farm next door."

Murphy walked over and shook Chakotay's hand. "Nice to meet you Chakotay, you have my admiration for putting up with the fiery taskmaster here for seven years."

"Murphy!" Kathryn scolded as she swatted his arm.

Chakotay chuckled at Liam's jibe. "It's nice to meet you too, Liam. And she was a handful at times." Chakotay repied.

Kathryn glared at the two men. "So Murphy what brings you around here so early before dinner?" Kathryn asked.

"Well lass if you must know I'm bringing your mother some peaches, so come on and help me unload them off the truck." Murphy held his elbow out and Kathryn shook her head at him before putting her arm through his. She turned back to look at Chakotay.

"Don't just stand there Chakotay." Kathryn ordered causing both men to laugh as they walked out the door.

* * * * * *

Kathryn and Gretchen were standing in the kitchen cleaning a few peaches to make cobbler for after dinner tonight when Murphy and Chakotay entered the kitchen from unloading the last of the baskets of peaches.

"Katie I saved this one for you." Murphy said holding up a peach the size of a softball.

Kathryn's eyes went wide for a second. "I didn't know peaches could grow that large. Do they taste as good as a normal size peach?"

Murphy chuckled, "Well take a bite and find out."

Kathryn walked up took the peach out of Murphy's hand and took a bite out of it. The peach was perfectly ripe causing its juice to run down Kathryn's face, neck and chin as she closed her eyes and moaned.

Murphy reached his hand up and caught the peach juice that was dripping from Kathryn's chin and laughed. "That good, huh?"

A stab of jealousy went through Chakotay as he stood on the other side of the kitchen island watching Liam and Kathryn. He was surprised at the intensity of his jealousy that surged through him as Kathryn stood with Murphy. By now, Chakotay had thought he would have been over her. But then again, could someone ever be over a woman like Kathryn? Before he could scrutinize Kathryn and Murphy any more Gretchen walked up to him and handed him a clean peach.

"Try one Chakotay. Murphy grows the best peaches in the area." She smiled at him.

"Thank you, Gretchen." He took the peach and tasted it. "You're right they are very good."

"Oh Katie before I forget, there's a dart tournament at O'Doyle's next weekend." Murphy announced.

"So it's time to put my credits where my mouth is, huh?" she replied putting her hand on her hip.

"You said it Katie not me." Murphy laughed.

"I am going to wipe the floor with you Liam Murphy." She stated raising a delicate eyebrow at him.

Murphy turned and looked at Chakotay, "She's been trying to wipe the floor with me since we were 10." He chuckled as Kathryn stuck her tongue out at him. "You're welcome to come watch her try Chakotay."

"I wouldn't miss it." Chakotay replied.

"Grand. I'll see you both at O'Doyle's next Saturday. Now if you'll both excuse me I have cows to milk."

Murphy bid them all goodbye as Gretchen and Kathryn continued to clean the peaches. Chakotay stood up from his seat at the counter. "Do you ladies need any help?"

Gretchen turned and answered him. "Kathryn and I have everything under control, but thank you for the offer Chakotay."

"In that case if you will excuse me I have papers to go over before my classes on Monday."

* * * * * *

Phoebe ran up on the porch and squeezed the water out of her hair. It had started out a sunny Sunday morning as she walked to her mother's house from her place, but then a sudden spring shower sprouted up and dumped on her. Now she was soaked to the skin. She opened the front door, and called out a greeting but got no answer so she headed up stairs to find some dry clothes. She walked into Kathryn's room and opened up the closet. She rifled through Kathryn's clothes until she found a blouse and pants that she didn't think Kathryn would kill her for barrowing. Phoebe placed the clothes on the bed, grabbed Kathryn's robe and headed for the bathroom to change out of her wet things. She threw her clothes in a wet pile on the floor and slipped on the robe when Chakotay suddenly entered the bathroom from his room.

Oh! I sorry! Chakotay exclaimed as he turned his back to Phoebe.

Phoebe's head snapped up, "What the… Chakotay!?" Phoebe gave him a puzzled look as she secured the front of the robe. "What are you doing here?"

"Kathryn invited me to stay here until I find a new apartment."

Phoebe gave Chakotay a cool look. "I need to talk to Katie." She muttered quickly walking out of the bathroom thru Kathryn's room and downstairs calling out Kathryn's name the whole time.

Chakotay finally caught up with Phoebe in living room. "Phoebe, Kathryn isn't here."

Phoebe spun around and crossed her arm at her chest. "And just where is she?"

"She had an appointment in New York." Chakotay answered.

Exasperated, Phoebe ran her hand through her wet hair. "Fine, I'll track her down there."

Just then Kathryn walked into the living room. "Who are you going to track down, Phoebe?" she said taking in her sister's appearance. "Why are you wearing my robe? And why is your hair wet?"

Phoebe ignored Kathryn's questions. "I want to know why he's staying here." Phoebe stated clearly irritated pointing at Chakotay.

Chakotay saw an eerily calm look come over Kathryn. He knew that look too well, he'd seen it many times on Voyager. It was the calm before the storm of her temper and he decided that it was time to exercise the better part of valor. "If you'll excuse me I'll let you two talk."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay and put her hand on his chest to stop him from leaving the room. "I apologize for my sister rudeness Chakotay." Kathryn turned and glared at Phoebe. "Phoebe apologize to my guest, then go put some clothes on and meet me in the garden." Kathryn stated in her best command voice.

Phoebe gave Chakotay an apology and then went upstairs to change. Kathryn and Chakotay watched Phoebe leave the room. "Don't be too hard on her Kathryn. I scared the life out of her when I walked in on her in the bathroom." Chakotay stated. Kathryn snapped her head around towards him. Chakotay saw something flash into her eyes, '_was that jealousy'_, he thought to himself.

"Yes well that doesn't give her the right to be rude to you." She answered with an edge of anger in her voice.

"She was more irritated then rude, Kathryn."

"A word of advice Chakotay, you should get to know Phoebe better before taking her side." And with that Kathryn walked out of the living room.

* * * * * *

Phoebe stood by the back door looking at Kathryn sitting on the garden bench, and thought back to the morning she showed up at the house after seeing Seven's interview on how she was adjusting to being human again that ended with footage of Chakotay and Seven kissing.

_Phoebe had showed up bright and early pounding on Kathryn's bedroom door yelling, "Damn it open up Kathryn, or I'll call Starfleet Security!" Kathryn quickly opened the door. Phoebe stood in the doorway taking in her sister's appearance, her hair was a disarray of tangles, and she had dark circles under her red rimmed eyes. She basically looked like hell. "You look like shit."_

_Kathryn sighed, "You've heard."_

_I saw it this morning."_

_Kathryn ran a trembling hand through her tangled hair and motioned for Phoebe to enter her room. They both walked over to the bed and sat down. Phoebe put her arm around Kathryn's shoulders._

"_Katie," Phoebe said softly._

_Kathryn sagged forward, burying her puffy face in her hands. "Oh god…"_

_Phoebe took Kathryn in her arms and held her tightly, rocking back and forth, smoothing Kathryn's tangled hair from her wet cheeks._

"_You'll get thought it," Phoebe said at last. "Right now you think you won't, but you will. I promise. Chakotay's an asshole anyway. You'll be better off with out him."_

_Kathryn drew back and looked at her sister through stinging tears. "I don't….want to be without him."_

"_Of course you don't. I only meant…"_

"_I know what you meant Phoebe. You meant it will get easier."_

_Phoebe gave her sister a warm smile. "I'm going to be here for you," slipping her hand into Kathryn's and squeezing gently "Whenever you need me. Twenty four hours a day."_

"_I thought things would turn out different now… I didn't know it would hurt this much … It feels like …"The humiliating tears burned Kathryn's eyes again she wished she could stop them, but it was impossible._

"_Like your insides are bleeding away …like nothing will ever make you happy again? I know." Phoebe watched as Kathryn closed her eyes and nodded._

Phoebe walked up to the bench and sat down next to Kathryn. "Kathryn are you out of your mind!?" Phoebe declared.

"Phoebe please, I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

"Well too fucking bad because you're getting one." Phoebe snapped. "Have you forgotten what you went through when you got home because of him!?" Phoebe didn't wait for her to answer. "Well I haven't. It took a month before you stopped crying over him, three more months for me to talk you into taking a vacation to Italy. You came home after spending a month there and told me that you had worked out your feelings for Chakotay and were ready to move forward with your life. Now I come here and find that he's living here!"

"He's still my friend Phoebe."

"You had seven damn hard tough years of struggle out there Katie. All the while denying yourself any personal happiness and enduring loneliness only to have your heart broken in the end. I just don't want to see you hurt by him again."

"Phoebe I'm just helping out a friend. Stop making it out to be more then it is."

Phoebe became angrier, "That doesn't explain why he is staying here."

Kathryn quickly explained Chakotay's situation. "I couldn't let him stay in that tiny apartment with Tom and B'Elanna when we have all this space here."

Phoebe shook her head. "You are still in hopelessly in love with him, aren't you?" she whispered softly. Phoebe watched as Kathryn's eyes misted over.

"My head tells me I'm not, but my heart ….my heart will always belong to him, Phoebe." She sniffed.

Phoebe put her arm around her sister's shoulders. They sat in silence looking out over the garden. Phoebe put her head on Kathryn's shoulder. "The heart wants what it wants, so it's time you listened to your heart, Katie."

Kathryn silently chuckled, "You think so, huh?"

"Well, you listened to your head and it got you Mark."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Kathryn said with a slight indignant tone.

Phoebe sat up and held her hand up. "Don't get me wrong, Mark is a wonderful guy. But, let's face it Katie you played it safe with your heart after Justin and you'd have eventually become bored with Mark after awhile. Your love for Mark was nothing like your love for Justin."

Kathryn sighed. "You're right."

"So let me ask you this. How does your love for Chakotay compare to the love you had for Justin?"

Kathryn brought her knees up to her chin and looked out over the garden. "Phoebe it consumes me just as much if not more." Kathryn suddenly wiped the tears from her face as she realized she was crying because her love for Chakotay was still there, despite it all.

"Then that's all that matters to me." Phoebe whispered. They both sat in silence looking out at the garden when Phoebe spoke again. "So where do you two go from here?"

"No where." Kathryn said flatly.

Phoebe turned and looked at her sister. "What do you mean? You just confessed your love for him and he's not with Seven any more."

Kathryn sighed deeply. "I know, but it isn't that simple Phoebe. He doesn't love me, his relationship with Seven was proof of that Phoebs."

"Then why did you invite him to stay here?"

"Because he was there for me when I needed a friend and I owe him that much Phoebe.

At that moment they heard thunder roll in the distance. "Well, I've already gotten caught in one shower today I don't want to make it two." Phoebe said as she got up.

A few hours later Chakotay walked into the kitchen and found Kathryn preparing Sunday dinner. He stood in the doorway starring in shock as he watched her measure ingredients. Gretchen came in the back door and saw the look on Chakotay's face. "Young man you look as if you've never seen someone cook." Kathryn looked up at her mother's comment and saw Chakotay's distressed look and chuckled.

"He's just not use to seeing me cooking." Kathryn mentioned.

"That's because you can't cook, Kathryn." Chakotay said pointedly.

Kathryn held up the knife she was using and pointed it at him. "It just so happens that I'm a good cook, mister."

"She just hates to do it," Gretchen added laughingly. "She really is a good cook, Chakotay."

"Well you would have never known it from the way she replicated meals on Voyager."

Kathryn looked up again, "I told you before that that replicator had it in for me."

At dinner Chakotay discovered just how well Kathryn could cook as he helped himself to a second portion of the penne rosa that Kathryn had prepared for them. "For someone who is a good cook, I just don't get why you hate to cook Kathryn."

Kathryn took a drink of her red wine. "Simple. Replicating a meal is quicker and there's very little cleaning up involved."

"Katie hated washing the dishes when we were growing up." Phoebe remarked.

"That's because I always had to do them by myself because you would weasel your way out of it." Kathryn retorted.

Gretchen changed the subject before it could get out of hand. "So Chakotay, I understand that you took a position at the Academy in San Francisco?"

Chakotay set his utensil down and wiped the corner of this mouth with his napkin. "Yes, yes I did. I'm teaching Advanced Tactics. I'm also coaching the boxing team, light heavyweight division."

Gretchen's eyebrows rose. I bet you had an impressive record when you were at the Academy?"

"Twenty three and one. How did you know that I boxed at the Academy?" Chakotay wondered.

Gretchen smiled. "My step-father was an avid fight fan,"

Chakotay gave her a quizzical look. "Did you see one of my fights?"

"No, I never had the chance to take in an Academy match."

Chakotay shook his head. "Then how did you know I boxer at the Academy?"

Gretchen's eyes glittered with amusement. "Simple, the Academy Boxing team only recruits alumni for their coaches."

"I should have known better then to spare with a Janeway." Chakotay quipped making the whole table erupted with laughter.

As soon as the table quieted Chakotay turned to Kathryn. "So Kathryn what did you decided about the position at headquarters?"

Kathryn looked up at him strangely. "B'Elanna and Tom didn't tell you?"

"No, but then I never asked either of them." He replied.

"Oh… I ah… turned it down."

Chakotay's eyebrows rose in shock. "You turned down a promotion to Admiral?"

"Oh she's been promoted to Admiral." Phoebe cut in. "She just won't be one at headquarters."

Chakotay was confused. "Kathryn?"

Kathryn gave Phoebe a look of annoyance before turning to answer Chakotay. "I took a position teaching at Command School in New York. The position comes with the rank of Admiral."

"Ah I see. Well congratulation. The candidates for command are getting one hell of an instructor." He said proudly even through he was disappointed that he wouldn't be seeing her around the grounds of Headquarters and the Academy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chakotay arrived back at the Janeway home late, he had looked at several apartments after boxing practice and by the time he was done and traveled back to Bloomington and got a ground transport back to the house it was almost 11 o'clock at night. There were only a few lights on in the house when the vehicle pulled up. As Chakotay was paying the driver they heard the faint rumble of thunder in the distance.

"Sounds like another summer storm is coming." The driver commented to Chakotay.

"Yes it does." Chakotay started walking to the front door when he heard another rumble of thunder in the distance. He looked up at the dark sky and felt the soft drops of rain hit his face. He hurried up the porch steps and entered the house. The house was completely quiet, so he silently went up to his room turning off the few lights that had been left on for him.

A few hours later as the storm approached the house, a loud crack of thunder shook the window pane jolting Kathryn awake. She rolled over on her side and looked at the clock as she listened to the storm, it was 3 am. A bright flash of lighting lit up her room making Kathryn sit up. There was another crack of thunder followed in quick succession by a flash of lighting making Kathryn's heart race faster. She was just about to lay back down when another flash of lightening lit up the room for a third time. She quickly threw back the covers and hurried out of her room and across the hall to her mother's door. She didn't bother to knock when she reached the door. Kathryn quickly entered her mother's bedroom and went over to the bed. She saw her mother laying on her side facing away from her holding up the covers up behind her for Kathryn. Not hesitating Kathryn climbed into her mother's bed, snuggled up to her mother's back, and buried her face between her mother's shoulder blades.

Gretchen stiffened and gasped. "Sweet bejeezus Kathryn they're called socks!" She heard a very muffled sorry. Gretchen reached back and patted Kathryn's leg. "Don't worry sweetheart you come by it honestly although for the longest time I thought your father stuck his feet in ice water before coming to bed so he would have an excuse to snuggle." Gretchen felt Kathryn's face move way from her back.

"You're kidding." Kathryn answered back.

Gretchen chuckled quietly. "I'm afraid not. However, as it turns out he didn't wear socks to bed on purpose."

Kathryn gently placed her head on Gretchen's upper arm. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"How do you bare the loneliness without Daddy?"

Gretchen rolled over and looked at Kathryn. "Oh Katie come here." Gretchen put her arms around her daughter. She lay back against the pillows with Kathryn's head on her shoulder as she held her. "I had thirty wonderful years with your father, and he gave me two wonderful daughters. My life is far from lonely."

A flash of lightening lit up the room making Kathryn flitch. "That's like exactly what I meant."

"What exactly do you mean then, kitten?"

"Do you regret remaining single, never finding someone significant to share your life with?"

Gretchen quietly chuckled. "Kathryn it may surprise you to know that my bed hasn't been completely empty over the years."

"Mom!" Kathryn stated in shocked surprise.

"Oh come on Katie you're a grown woman with needs too. I'm sure that your bed didn't go empty after you found out your relationship with Mark was over."

Kathryn became very still. Gretchen lifted her head up and looked at Kathryn when she became quiet. "Katie tell me you weren't celibate the entire seven years out there?" When it looked as if Kathryn wasn't going to answer she nudged her. "Katie," she drew out.

Kathryn swallowed hard. "Not exactly."

"Just how 'exactly' then Kathryn."

"Once."

"Once as in one time or as in one person?"

Kathryn sighed, "One person."

"Was he one of your crew?"

"No he wasn't. It was when we were kidnapped, brainwashed and taken to a planet called Quarra."

"Were your feelings real for this man or apart of your brainwashing."

Kathryn cleared her throat. "I don't really know for sure."

Gretchen heard what Kathryn wasn't saying. "But you think you know."

Kathryn nodded, "Right up until the day of the kidnapping and brainwashing I was very much in love with Chakotay."

"And because of your love for Chakotay you think this other relationship was part of your brainwashing."

"Yes." They laid there in silence for a few minutes. "Mom, why didn't any of the relationships last? Was it because you felt like you were betraying Daddy?"

"People change, circumstances happens, and sometimes a relationships just runs its course. Now let's get some sleep, okay?" Kathryn nodded her head. Gretchen gave her a hug and kissed Kathryn on the temple. "Sweet dreams Katie."

"You too mom."

The next morning Chakotay was in the kitchen making breakfast after his early morning run when a very tired looking Gretchen walked into the kitchen. "Good morning Gretchen."

"Good morning." Gretchen manages to say before she yawns.

Chakotay pours her a cup of coffee and hands it to her. "Looks like the storm last night kept you awake."

"Something like that," she muttered into her coffee cup. "Breakfast smells wonderful."

Chakotay smiled at her. "As soon as I set the table we can eat."

"You go wake Kathryn while I set the table, Chakotay." Chakotay nodded his head and headed upstairs.

Chakotay approached Kathryn's door and knocked lightly. Receiving no reply he knocked again, "Kathryn breakfast is ready." He stood at the door listening. He was just about to knock again when Liam came down the hall carrying a tool box.

"You'll not find her in her room." He stated. Chakotay gave him a puzzled look causing Liam to hitch his thumb over his shoulder pointing at Gretchen's bedroom door. When Chakotay didn't move Liam turned and opened Gretchen's door. Chakotay looked into the room and saw Kathryn asleep in her mother's bed. He turned and gave Liam a quizzical look. "The lass is terrified of lightening you know." Liam clarified.

Chakotay shook his head. "Kathryn mentioned the time that lightening split her grandparents tree she had just climbed, but she made is seem as if it was nothing major."

Liam chuckled, "That sounds like our Katie alright. Well I have a leaky pipe to fix, so I'll leave you to the task of waking sleeping beauty here." And with that Liam left the room.

Chakotay stood there quietly watching Kathryn. She was lying on her side with one arm draped over her side and the other tucked under head. The last time he'd seen her body and face so beautifully slack was 'New Earth'. He thought Kathryn had never looked lovelier than when she was sleep. She'd spent too many insomnia-ridden nights over a computer or data PADDs, pondering how to get Voyager home and keep her crew intact at the same time. It made his heart swell to see her like this, it brought back memories of happier times – secure times, and it made the love he felt for her stirred within him.

Chakotay's eyes were drawn to her lips. He wanted to kiss those rosy lips until she was breathless. His eyes then wandered further down her body, stopping at the slight cleavage her breasts made at the edge of her nightgown. He watched as Kathryn's chest rose and fell with each breath she took. He imagined his hands running over her body quicken its pace, and it made him wanted feel how her body responded to his touch. His eyes traveled further down her sleeping form as he dreamed of running his hands over her creamy skin.

When Chakotay's eyes traveled back up to Kathryn's face she saw that she was awake. He quickly schooled his features. "Good morning sleepy head."

"Good morning," Kathryn said groggy. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get up if you intend to eat breakfast before it gets cold." Chakotay's heart about stopped when Kathryn stretched her arms above her head causing her nightgown to stretch over her breasts. He quickly turned towards the door. "I'll see you down stairs."

* * * * * *

Kathryn and Chakotay were heading up the front walk after returning from the dart tournament at O'Doyle's when it suddenly started raining. They sprinted up the porch steps and into the house. Kathryn closed the front door and leaned against it. "What a perfect way to end the evening," she said sarcastically.

Chakotay turned around and tugged at this earlobe. "He beat you fair and square Kathryn."

Kathryn pushed her self away from the door. "I wouldn't say that! And while we are at it," She took a step closer to him with a menacing look on her face. "Why the hell did you bet against me? I thought we were friends?"

Chakotay took a step back holding his hands up in defense. "I had no choice."

This was the wrong thing to say. "NO CHOICE!" Kathryn looked like she was ready to kill him.

He started backing up again. "Now Kathryn calm down. When Timothy told me that Liam was regional dart champion for the last five years I had to take Donovan's bet."

This only fueled Kathryn's ire. "And THAT'S why I don't think Murphy played fair. He played me from the moment he mentioned the tournament. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to bed, I've had enough of being played the fool."

Chakotay called after her as she climbed the stairs. "Kathryn don't be a poor sport. I'm sorry." Her reply came in the form of her bedroom door slamming shut. He sighed heavily as he turned the lights off and headed up to his room for the evening. He knew Kathryn would cool off by morning and he would apologize again then.

Chakotay listened to the storm intensify as he tried to fall asleep. He felt bad for hurting Kathryn's feeling earlier. He wished he had never placed that bet against her. There were a lot of things he wished he had differently, one of them being his relationship with Seven. He continued to lay there and watch as the lightening streaked across the night sky.

After several flashes in quick succession flashed across the sky lighting the room as if it were day light Chakotay heard Kathryn's door open and then close. He remembered Liam telling them the other day that Kathryn was terrified of lightening and he wondered where she was headed since Gretchen was gone to her sister's for the weekend.

Growing conserned Chakotay threw back the covers and slipped his pants and T-shirt on and when to find Kathryn. Half way down the stairs he saw a light coming from the living room. When he rounded the corner he saw Kathryn dressed in a pair of sweats and T-shirt pacing nervously back and forth in front of the fire place.

He only made it half way to her when a bright flash and clap of loud thunder shook the house causing Kathryn to bolt right into his arms. Chakotay wrapped his arms around her and moved her to the sofa. He sat while never letting go of Kathryn. She was still shaking when he started stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her. When the next flash hit she buried her face further into his chest gripping her arms tightly around him.

The smell of Kathryn's hair intoxicated him, and Chakotay couldn't help but press his face into her silky hair. He had dreamed of holding Kathryn in his arms for six years. Now that her warm soft body was pressed to his he didn't want to ever let go.

In the mean time the wonderful scent of Chakotay was having its own effect on Kathryn. There were so many times on Voyager when she wanted to have Chakotay hold and comfort her like this. She leaned back and looked into his eyes. What she saw where dark silky pools of desire, and before she could react he was kissing her.

The kiss Chakotay pressed to her lips was meant to comfort; of that he was sure. But when their lips touched, soft pliant everything changed. The kiss turned hot, hungry, and desperate. He was thinking that he should stop, but it didn't matter, what mattered was the heat of their togetherness.

Kathryn fumbled with the edge of his shirt and pressed her hands beneath the soft fabric as quickly as she could, sliding her open palms against his chest. Her hands moved tentatively across his shoulder, and around his naked back. Touching him felt breathtaking, sensual, dangerous, and it made her _want…_

With a groan Chakotay wrenched his shirt off and tossed it aside. Kathryn's clothes came next. Her T-shirt and bra sailed across the room like flags of surrender.

The night air breezed across Kathryn's bare skin. She closed her eyes, embarrassed by the intensity of her desire. Chakotay's hands were everywhere, touching her, rubbing, stroking, squeezing, and sliding down the curve of her back. In some distant part of her mind she knew they were getting carried away, that this was a bad idea, but it felt so good. No one had wanted her this badly for a long, long time. Maybe forever…

They became a wild, passionate tangle of naked limbs and searching mouths. Kathryn gave in to the aching pleasure of it all – the hard calloused feel of Chakotay's fingers on her face, her breasts, between her legs. He touched her in places and ways she'd never imagined, brought her body to a throbbing edge between pleasure and pain. Her breathing shattered into choppy, ragged waves, until she was gasping for air and aching for release. "Please, Chakotay…"

Kathryn clung to him as he entered her; she had a dizzying, desperate moment when she thought she would scream. Her release was shattering. Chakotay clung to her, moaned, and when she felt his orgasm, she came again sobbing his name. Chakotay gathered her into his arms, stroking her hair, murmuring soft soothing words against her ear. Her heart was pounding so hard and her pulse was roaring so loudly in her ears she could barely make out what he was saying.

When Kathryn fell back to earth, amid a shower of stars, she landed with a thud. Sliding away from Chakotay she suddenly stood up. "Oh my god, what have we done?" she whispered, then she quickly scooped her clothes off the floor and started walking out of the room.

"Kathryn stop! Please don't runaway from me again." Chakotay pleaded.

Kathryn stopped cold at his words. She clutched her clothes to her naked chest and slowly turned around to face him. Phoebe's words came back to her, _'the heart wants what it wants,'_ and Kathryn's heart burned for him.

Chakotay picked up his boxers and pants. "I'll make us some coffee while you get dress and then we can talk, okay?" Kathryn nodded her head.

* * * * * *

Chakotay carried the tray with coffee into the living room, set it down and pouring Kathryn a cup and handing to her. She thanked him and took a drink before setting back on the sofa.

Chakotay poured himself a cup and took a seat next to Kathryn. "You know we really haven't talked in ages. What happened to us Kathryn?"

She blinked slowly. "It was a hell of a life for all of us out there Chakotay. I was a captain with responsibilities. The longer we were out there the more demanding and stressful it became for me."

Chakotay brow was furrowed and his eyes were filled with a mixture of hurt and worry. "I never wanted that to happen, you know."

Kathryn averted her gaze and looked out the window at the rain. "I know."

Chakotay's chest constricted at the pain he heard in her voice. "I tried but you kept pushing me away and wouldn't let me in."

"I am sorry, Chakotay," she whispered. "I want you to understand that I did that so I could fight for you and the Maquis without being seen as biased.

Chakotay reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. "I understand that now." He heaved a deep sigh, "I'm sorry, Kathryn."

"You don't need to apologize Chakotay."

"Yes I do."

She gave him a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

"Our last few months on Voyager."

"I don't understand."

He heaved another sigh and removed his hand from her shoulder. "Quarra broke my heart Kathryn, and before I knew what was happening I was involved with Seven."

"You don't have to apologize for making a life for yourself Chakotay. I love you too much to ever deny you that."

"Yes I do Kathryn. I never should have gotten involved with Seven and I deeply regret doing so because I still love you. Do you really think we are a mistake?" He stated while searching her eyes.

Kathryn met his gaze head on. "Given the fact that you just ended your relationship with Seven… yes."

Chakotay's shoulders slumped. "How can it be a mistake if we love each other Kathryn?"

"I won't be your rebound relationship, Chakotay."

Chakotay put his cup on the table and slid closer to Kathryn taking her face in his hands. "Kathryn, Seven was the rebound relationship." Kathryn started to shake her head, but Chakotay just kept talking. "I was trying to get over you, I have never stopped loving you Kathryn. I've been an awful fool."

A smile touched the corner of Kathryn's mouth. "Have you? What have you done that was so foolish?"

Chakotay cleared his throat a little self-consciously. "I was so sure after Quarra that you no longer had any romantic feelings for me, that I damaged something precious and caused a rift between us… there is a huge distance here." He touched his heart spreading his hand out.

"I was a fool too Chakotay. I kept you at arms length our entire journey and helped create this distance." She placed her hand on top of his over his heart. I've missed you Chakotay." Tears spilled over Kathryn's cheeks as she looked at him cupping his face. "I have loved you for so long." Her thumbs brush over his cheeks as she leans forward towards him.

Chakotay's eyes closed as her soft warm lips meet his. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer as he kissed her back.

The tip of Kathryn's tongue stroked at his tongue setting off a smooth caressing dance that sent a ripple down Kathryn's spine.

Chakotay broke the kiss and looked deeply into her eyes. "Do you still think we are a mistake?" Kathryn answered by kissing him again.

Chakotay slid his hands around and rested them at Kathryn's sides before trailing them down her ribs and settling at her hips as he deepened their kiss pulling her hips closer to him, he groaned into her mouth when their hips made contact. His hands move down Kathryn's thighs then back up again, pulling the material of her skirt upwards with his hands. After a few more strokes his hands were brushing over her skin.

The next morning Gretchen arrived back home from visiting her sister, Annie. When she entered the kitchen and saw that no coffee was made she knew that Kathryn was still in bed sleeping. She headed up stairs to Kathryn's bedroom, opening the door she stopped cold at the sight before her.

Kathryn was lying on her side with Chakotay spooned behind her. The sheets were barely covering their bare skin. Gretchen smiled and quietly closed the door. As she walked down to the kitchen she chuckled at how life always managed to work things out, and with any luck her life would be filled with grandchildren before the year was out.

The End


End file.
